Bless me Ireland, for I have changed,
Here is my American confession……
I put no milk in my tea!
That’s right! No milk! No sugar! Just plain black tea! I know – pure sacrilege by Irish tea drinking standards – not even the teeniest, tiniest, little drop of milk in my tay. I arrived on these shores drinking creamy tea, but I have since converted to be a black tea drinker.
And there’s more. I drink those fancy herbal teas, not just good black Irish tea. Lemon, peppermint, chamomile – I’ve tried them all. In my defense, not a drop of coffee has passed my lips. I am still officially a tea drinker, if not a true Irish tay drinker.
I drive a mini-van!
No longer is my mode of transport a petrol-sipping mini cooper, but a whopping big minivan with a V6 engine – a gas-guzzler by Irish standards. I am officially a soccer mom. There’s no going back once you give birth to triplets.
I now eat cupcakes instead of buns!
I indulge in America’s fancy, frosted buns and call them cupcakes. Now every time I finish one I ask myself why on earth I let that sweet, gooey mess pass my lips, but I just can’t help myself. They look lovely, and as Oscar Wilde so eloquently put it, I can resist everything except temptation.
I love the Drive-Thru!
Drive-thru bank! Drive-thru pharmacy! Drive-thru fast food! I’ve used them all, sitting behind my steering wheel, heating my rear with my built-in car seat warmer. I know it’s a long way from the pony and trap my grandmother used, but with four kids, a girl’s got to do, what a girl’s got to do.
I Supersized My Big Mac!
Once, just once, before the infamous supersizing fad was halted, I did it. The drive-thru girl asked: “Do you want to supersize that?“ And without batting an eyelid, I said yes.
The word “awesome” slipped my lips.
Just once I confess, but I can’t take it back. It was my Irish lips that uttered this ever-so-American exclamation. A school mother offered to take my little one to a birthday party, and before you know it, I had said it: “That would be awesome!” My Americanization is fully under way.
I watch movies, not films!
I don’t go to the cinema anymore, but check on line to see what’s showing at the movies. And then to crown it all, I eat popcorn by the bucketful at said movies.
For these changes,
And all the other changes
That will inevitably occur,
I am not one bit sorry.
And for my penance …….
Another twenty years in America!
Bless me, Ireland, that’s no penance at all, at all.
Slán agus beannacht leat!
(Goodbye and blessings)
Irish American Mom