My Favorite Housekeeping Quotations

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I plan to take out my broom, mop and duster, in an attempt to put some kind of shine on our finger-print infested house. Thanksgiving dinner for sixteen is planned.  If my guests laid eyes on the current state of their proposed venue, they would run a mile. To honor this much needed Thanksgiving cleaning, I compiled a list of my favorite housekeeping quotations.

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I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of

family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and

untidy ways.”  – Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management, 1861

 

Poor Mrs. Beeton wouldn’t last more than two minutes in our house!   In Victorian Britain, her comprehensive guide was the go-to book for learning about all aspects of running an efficient household.  Perhaps, I should invest in a copy!

 

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Erma Bombeck features frequently on my list.  I had never heard of Erma Bombeck until a few weeks ago.  A good friend, who hails from Dayton, Ohio, Erma’s hometown, mentioned I should check out her writings.  I became an instant fan.  Reading her witty commentary on life is now part of my American evolution.  My Christmas wishlist this year contains a few Erma Bombeck titles.

And so, without further time-wasting and loss of precious cleaning time, here is my compilation of anti-housekeeping sayings.

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“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like

shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”   – Phyllis Diller

 

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 “Excuse the mess, but we live here.”  – Roseanne Barr

 

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“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.”

- Roseanne Barr

 

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“My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being

hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

- Erma Bombeck

 

“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”

- Erma Bombeck

 

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell,

catch fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be.  No one else cares.

Why should you?”

- Erma Bombeck

 

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“Please don’t feed the dust bunnies.”

- Author Unknown

 

 At my house “dust” is a noun, not a verb.

- Anonymous

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“Have you ever taken something out of the clothes basket because it

has become, relatively, the cleaner thing?”

- Katherine Whitehorn

 

“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion, with stop-offs at

tedium and counter-productivity.”

- Erma Bombeck

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My favorite quotation slipped from the lips of my own little girl.  I was busy cleaning one day when she questioned me out of the blue, with an anxious frown:

“Why are you cleaning, Mom?  Whose coming to visit?”

 

Since Thanksgiving guests are coming to visit, clean I must.  My little colleen better pick up a duster too.

Happy Thanksgiving Cleaning!

 

 

Slan agus beannacht leat!

(Goodbye and blessings)

 

Irish American Mom