With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I plan to take out my broom, mop and duster, in an attempt to put some kind of shine on our finger-print infested house. Thanksgiving dinner for sixteen is planned. If my guests laid eyes on the current state of their proposed venue, they would run a mile. To honor this much needed Thanksgiving cleaning, I compiled a list of my favorite housekeeping quotations.
“I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of
family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and
untidy ways.” – Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management, 1861
Poor Mrs. Beeton wouldn’t last more than two minutes in our house! In Victorian Britain, her comprehensive guide was the go-to book for learning about all aspects of running an efficient household. Perhaps, I should invest in a copy!
Erma Bombeck features frequently on my list. I had never heard of Erma Bombeck until a few weeks ago. A good friend, who hails from Dayton, Ohio, Erma’s hometown, mentioned I should check out her writings. I became an instant fan. Reading her witty commentary on life is now part of my American evolution. My Christmas wishlist this year contains a few Erma Bombeck titles.
And so, without further time-wasting and loss of precious cleaning time, here is my compilation of anti-housekeeping sayings.
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
“Excuse the mess, but we live here.” – Roseanne Barr
“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
- Roseanne Barr
“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
- Erma Bombeck
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”
- Erma Bombeck
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell,
catch fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares.
Why should you?”
- Erma Bombeck
“Please don’t feed the dust bunnies.”
- Author Unknown
At my house “dust” is a noun, not a verb.
- Anonymous
“Have you ever taken something out of the clothes basket because it
has become, relatively, the cleaner thing?”
- Katherine Whitehorn
“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion, with stop-offs at
tedium and counter-productivity.”
- Erma Bombeck
My favorite quotation slipped from the lips of my own little girl. I was busy cleaning one day when she questioned me out of the blue, with an anxious frown:
“Why are you cleaning, Mom? Whose coming to visit?”
Since Thanksgiving guests are coming to visit, clean I must. My little colleen better pick up a duster too.
Happy Thanksgiving Cleaning!
Slan agus beannacht leat!
(Goodbye and blessings)
Irish American Mom
