Potty training triplets involved developing an astute awareness of the nearest location of public restrooms. During those first few months of independent toileting the words “I got to go” echoed through my brain.
Wherever we went I seemed to spend my time running to and from the bathroom, escorting one of my trio to their throne. As I responded to all those urgent tinkling needs, I developed an appreciation for America’s abundance of toilets, bathrooms, rest rooms, loos, or whatever you choose to call the facilities.
Yes, I am going to christen America, the ‘Land of Toilets’. Every time my sister visits from Ireland, she praises America for its numerous, clean bathrooms. So, here are my reasons for loving American toilets.
Rest stops line the highway system, at well-paced intervals. You never have to drive for miles on end, in search of a clean loo. There is always a toilet at a gas station, a restaurant, or a rest stop.
Ireland has built some beautiful new motorways in the past ten years, but unfortunately the rest area plan was not completed at the same time as the roadways.
Toilets in America are free. One of my pet peeves in Dublin, is when I am absolutely dying to use the facilities – you know, when you think your eyeballs are turning a light, shade of primrose – and you discover you have to pay a euro to go. There is nothing worse than standing cross-legged, as you rummage through your purse for change. Spending a penny has been adversely affected by inflation. The privilege now requires a whole euro.
This year when we were in Ireland, I finally found the toilets on the tip-top floor of the St. Stephen’s Green Shopping Center in Dublin. I rummaged through my purse trying to find my wallet for the requisite euro, while my four little ones crossed their legs and waited with a worried frown on each little face. The attendant looked at them, then at me, before ushering us in quickly without payment. Their frantic four-year old dancing did the trick.
In America toilets are simply called ‘toilet’ or ‘rest room’, and not by the most confusing European term of all – ‘water closet’ or ‘WC’.
Many Irish directional signs, just display a big ‘WC ‘and an arrow. American tourists must be bewildered by where Irish toilets are hidden.
And trust me, public rest rooms are few and far between in Ireland when you get out of the large cities. A pub is your best bet in a small town, but usually you are expected to buy something, not just waltz in to use the ‘WC’.
Thankfully, the toilet will not be a hole in the ground in America. What more can I say on this topic? I think the picture says it all!
Toilets are clean, and 99% of the time there will be soft toilet paper, not the crinkly, scraping, nonabsorbent, cheapo kind, sometimes provided in Ireland.
No self-cleaning, cubicle-spraying device is going to ambush you, if you fail to leave the premises in a timely fashion. Paris is proud of the availability of self-cleaning toilets throughout the city. In Paris I used the facilities in a state of sheer anxiety, staring at the spray nozzles, in deadly fear one would spit even the tiniest of warning drops.
The sign to the left reads: “These toilets are automatically washed, disinfected and dried.” Whatever you do, don’t open the door, change your mind, then close it again without exiting.
A handle, a pull chain, a button or a remote-control, tooshy detector creates a flush of formidable force in the good old USA. I visited India many moons ago. No automatic flushes guaranteed there. Most of the time a bucket or pail stood beneath a faucet. You filled the bucket with water, then emptied it down the hole-in-the-ground toilet to take care of business. A non-splash, pouring technique took many attempts to master.
American toilet cubicles are spacious, unlike some of their European counterparts. In Ireland toilets have been added to some extremely old buildings, in very tight quarters. It’s a breath-holding, butt-squeezing, tummy-tucking maneuver, to re-zip a pair of jeans in some Irish public restrooms. There’s no resting in there, if you plan to return to public view looking anyway respectable.
And so I say thank you to America, for an abundance of toilets. During the trying months of potty training three children, you made my life a little easier.
Slán agus beannacht,
(Goodbye and blessings)
Irish American Mom
Cheryl Barker says
January 12, 2012 at 12:35 pmYou’ve given me a new reason to appreciate America! 🙂 By the way, I’d be broke if I had to pay every time I had to go 🙂
Irish American Mom says
January 12, 2012 at 2:45 pmCheryl – Toilets are something we all take for granted. It wasn’t until I had three little ones on vacation in Ireland, that I came to realize how much easier it is to find a place to go in America. I am certain some may laugh at my praise of American toilets, but sometimes it is the simplest everyday thing, that really makes life better.
Mairead
Liam says
January 12, 2012 at 5:33 pmMairead – you put a funny spin on a very yucky problem 🙂 You expect it to be one of life’s simple comforts, but us Irish haven’t caught on to providing clean toilets yet. Every time I go back to visit family, it’s one of the first things I notice, and it drives me crazy! America definitely has the upper hand. Rest of world take note – seat liners are cool 🙂
Irish American Mom says
January 12, 2012 at 5:59 pmLiam – Last year a good friend of mine went on a tour to Ireland, and one of the biggest issues they faced was where to find a toilet. The tour bus guide did not have regular pit stops figured into their itinerary, so they ended up ducking into pubs, buying a few cokes and lining up. I hope the Irish Tourist Board will soon realize what a critical issue this is, when so much of our tourism is dependent on sight seeing in rural, out-of-the way places.
I really only became aware of how bad the Irish situation is when traveling with my trio of three year olds.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Mairead
Liam says
January 12, 2012 at 6:16 pmI’m sure the tourist board must hear it all the time. It’d be money well spent if/when they do something about it.
I’m going home soon with my 2 little ones. Wish me luck 🙂 I’ll have to wrap them up in a bubble for the pee breaks 🙂
Irish American Mom says
January 12, 2012 at 10:24 pmLiam – Wishing you a safe trip home with your little ones. When we flew back this past summer I reserved seats right at the back of the plane beside the loos. Otherwise, I would have had a track worn down the aisle and a few bruises from dodging the flight attendant’s trolley, as I escorted one or other of my four to the toilet.
Mairead
Kay G. says
January 12, 2012 at 6:08 pmPotty training three children…I am sorry but I still can’t quite wrap my head around that. Did you get a medal for this? No? Then you should have!
Irish American Mom says
January 13, 2012 at 12:30 amKay – I look back on those days and think “how did I stay sane?” The worst part was how all three loved to play in water. Every time I turned my back there was water flowing somewhere in the house. I couldn’t keep the bathroom locked, or they would never have been potty trained, but three children slopping in a sink of water, or worse again, playing in toilet water, was a test of my patience. Those days are long past, so now I just reminisce and laugh.
Brenda says
January 12, 2012 at 8:05 pmHi IAM,
Funny post. I just found your blog today. I have recently moved to MA from Ireland with my husband and three boys. I too appreciate the nice clean loos here in the US. Even on the busiest day at the mall the toilets are always pristine. A good thing because one of the boys has a really light tummy and going into public toilets at home can turn into a nightmare scenario. So glad I found you today.
Irish American Mom says
January 12, 2012 at 10:21 pmBrenda – Thanks for stopping by and especially for commenting. It is always lovely to hear from everyone reading my ramblings. I love your blog and the fabulous picture of your boys with their new snow boards. I will look forward to following along, and learning about your Americanization, as mine continues. I have been here for 23 years, but my American evolution is still a work in progress.
Stop by whenever you get a spare moment, but I know just how busy you are with three boys.
Mairead
Mairead says
January 12, 2012 at 8:52 pmHi Mairead,
I found your blog recently and am enjoying reading of your experiences. I moved over a few years ago and now live in GA. I have to agree about the toilets in the main. My (American) DH really notices it when we go to Ireland. Yes, I know the ones you mean in St. Stephen’s Green SC but I don’t think that everywhere charges. You can use them for free in the department stores. Anyway, maybe you can explain something I found odd over here. Why are the toilet doors so short on American toilets and big gaps at the side. Made me very uncomfortable till I got used to them.
Looking forward to reading more from you!
Irish American Mom says
January 12, 2012 at 10:15 pmMairead – It’s funny you mention the toilet doors over here, because when I first came to America they freaked me out a little too, but now I don’t even notice them. I’d say it took me a good three years to banish all thoughts of the crack in the toilet door when in a public rest room.
So glad you found my site, and your hand made cards look absolutely amazing.
All the best – from one Mairead to another.
[email protected] says
January 14, 2012 at 3:40 amYour post made me smile, I really enjoyed it.