Visiting our departed loved ones at Christmas is an age old Irish tradition.
My childhood memories of Christmas Day include a trip to the local cemetery to say a prayer at the gravesides of our deceased relatives and friends.

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Visiting a Graveyard - An Irish Christmas Tradition
To many this may seem a very grave matter for Christmas time, but if like me your heritage is Irish, connecting Christmas with death is a perfectly normal and natural thing to do.
Honoring our ancestors and those who have gone before us is very important to Irish families. Christmas is a family holiday which we not only celebrate with the living, but also the dead. When a close relative is unable to visit a grave, a cousin or a friend will often complete the traditional task.

Christmas Cemetery Visits in Finland
I have heard that Finnish people also observe this tradition of Christmas visits to graveyards. There however, the visit usually happens on Christmas Eve just before dark.
Finns usually light a candle in memory of their loved ones. I can only imagine how beautiful it must be as darkness falls. Graveyards must transform into a beautiful sea of candles.
Christmas Day Cemetery Visits in Ireland
On Christmas Day in Ireland graveside weed pulling is deferred, but old vases and pots of decaying flowers are replaced with wreaths of holly and ivy.
We pay our respects in many ways. Some write little notes, and graveside mementos are placed respectfully over the dead.

But these customs are not reserved for the recently departed. Our long lost ancestors are often acknowledged on this holy of holy days.
Cemetery visitors nod to each other, respectfully conveying season's greetings, yet all the while acknowledging our forebears are now close neighbors.
Like many other Irish people, I find graveyards have long been a source of solitude, comfort and contemplation. Even as a child I never objected to our yuletide cemetery visits, recognizing at a young age that this was part of our heritage - our family duty.

An Irish Childhood - Christmas Memories
As I have grown older and look back on my Irish childhood I have come to fully appreciate this family ritual, even though many may deem it too somber for this merry season. But I never felt somber as I searched headstones for names I recognized so well.
Our ritual actually felt joyous, as if somehow in my young heart I knew I was bringing the joy of Christmas to our beloved family members who had passed away.
Together we honored their lives, aware their lives gave us life, and the ability to celebrate this joyous season.

A silent spiritual music provided rhythm to our Christmas stroll around grave stones and family memorials. Trees seemed silent and indifferent, yet ancient stones comforted us, rooting us to the valleys of our past.
As I now walk amongst the Celtic crosses of my memories, I am reminded that we too are simply passing through. We are only temporary residents on earth, yet duty bound to find joy in the simple things in life, especially family holidays and celebrations.

Slán agus beannacht,
(Goodbye and blessings)
Mairéad -Irish American Mom
Pronunciation - slawn ah-gus ban-ock-th
Mairéad - rhymes with parade
Where to next on your Irish heritage journey of discovery? You might be interested in ....
An Irish Christmas - Ancient Rural Traditions
A Candle In The Window - An Irish Christmas Tradition
Christmas Chocolate Yule Log Recipe
Brighid O'Sullivan
Personally, I love Irish graveyards and find the Celtic crosses absolutely beautiful! My husband takes loads of pictures of them when we visit Ireland and one hangs in my dining room too. I think this tradition of visiting the dead can even have pagan roots and I can't help remembering things like Halloween, where we welcome the dead from the Otherworld , holy wells, and all the folklore and traditions rooted in per-Christian times. I've written about some of them on my blog @celticthoughts.com. Thank you Mairead for a wonderful post as always. Brighid O'Sullivan
Irish American Mom
Brighid - Our Irish traditions of visiting the dead probably do have pagan roots, and like many pagan traditions we simply transformed them to fit in with our "newly" adopted Christian beliefs. Thanks so much for this insight into this Irish Christmas tradition.
All the best,
Mairéad
Phyllis
interesting thought! Especially since my dad (the son of the immigrant I wrote about and you so kindly posted) passed away on Christmas Day. I cannot visit his grave as it's about 900 miles from my home but he certainly is in my thoughts. Thanks for a nice post!
Irish American Mom
Phyllis - Loving thoughts of your Dad must fill your Christmas season. I have not visited a graveyard at Christmas since the time I was a little girl in Ireland, but each Christmas I take time to remember family members who have passed away. I believe they celebrate with us in spirit.
All the best,
Mairéad
Patricia
What a beautiful and thought-provoking post Mairead.
It is only natural to think of our loved ones no longer with us at Christmas. We are sad because we miss them, but happy for having known them, and loved them. I can remember my own father always seemed a bit sad at Christmas, and now that he is gone, I share that kindred sadness myself. I do believe our family members still are with us even in death. And in that, there is warm comfort.
Irish American Mom
Thanks for your lovely comment, Patricia. There truly is warm comfort in believing our loved ones who have passed are still with us.
Best wishes,
Mairéad
Maureen O Hanlon
Hi Mairead,
My mind is flooding with memories since you put up this post about graveyards, as a very young child i have great memories of visiting the grave yard with my Mother, she used to caretake the local graveyard in Liscarroll where I was born and reared, she was a trogan worker and used to cut the grass in the graveyard with a scythe, it had a long handle and a halfmoon shaped blade, I used to be happy out playing in the graveyard, I remember trying to look through cracks in the tombs hoping id see something, I didnt know what I was hoping to see but it certainly didnt frighten me as it would now, I was only about 6 or sevensh at the time, I used to be hopping over bones that would have been missed when burying some relation in the family grave, and i took no notice of that either, its only when we get older that we scare ourselves, I remember there was railing around some graves and little house effects, I used to have so much fun , and as far as I remember my Mom used to tahe tea in a glass bottle wrapped probably in wolly socks, My Father was buried there and I used to kneel at his grave and pray, my mother took over the caretaker from him we also had a kind of a roll book or ledger that every one that died their names were filled into it, of course times were hard back in the late fifties earlty sixties so thats why she did this hard job to get money for doing it, I always remember her telling me, dont ever pick flowers from a grave yard , whats in a grave yard stays in a grave yard, I always had the urge to pick the beautiful bluebells and take them home, but no good I never got the chance, she used to watch me like a hawk. :):), well that finishes my reminising for today,
All the best.
Maureen 🙂
Irish American Mom
Maureen - What lovely memories you have of good times spent in the Liscarroll graveyard with your mother. Our parents and grandparents knew hard times and boy were they hard workers. That's one thing I remember about my granny - she stuck to her daily routine and worked and worked and worked. But always did so with a sense of happiness and duty. Sounds like your mother did everything she could to take care of you and your siblings. What a wonderful woman.
The photos in this post were taken at the Molloga Cemetery near Kildorrery. I love the graveyards of North Cork. They are often located in picturesque sites with beautiful views of the mountains.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your memories.
Best wishes,
Mairéad
T.M. Johnson
An interesting post, Mairead. I do believe our seasonal preoccupations with mistletoe, holly, outdoor and indoor illumination--the getting and spending urged upon us Americans by the world of commerce--unfortunately allow not only little time to remember departed kin but also diminish or preclude what all the "fuss" was all about in the first place.
"Christ's Mass," a commemoration of a hallowed birth seems incongruous with death, shadowlands, and cemeteries. Perhaps we Americans have it backwards: the old gods would have it that winter is a time for rest, when the world is at peace, wrapped in slumber; our Memorial Day, which we reserve for obsequies of departed kin, occurs on the cusp of spring and summer when we can honor the departed comfortably on a day filled with the warmth of sunshine surrounded by the breath of lilacs. Cemeteries for many are an uncomfortable reminder of their own mortality, places to be avoided until the very LAST (my father-in-law told old friends in his last days they needn't come to his funeral if they didn't want to: "I wouldn't go myself, "he said, "if I didn't have to."). I had a professor years ago who advised his students fo ra healthy life perspective to do these two things annually: read Ecclesiastes and visit a cemetery.
My father passed away suddenly in 1994 ten days before Christmas. We had already purchased his Christmas present and at his funeral slipped his gift into his casket. Distance and the snows of winter make graveyard visits extremely difficult for us, but Dad is especially in my thoughts this time of year and come Memorial Day each May, I see to it his grave is well-tended and presentable to those who pass by on their visits to their own departed.
My heartfelt best wishes to IAM and her family for a wonderful holiday season and a happy Christmas to you all. TMJ
Irish American Mom
Hi TMJ - Thanks so much for sharing your family story with us. Your family's Christmas was full of sorrow back in 1994, but I'm sure your father is with you in spirit every Christmas since.
My grandmother attended at least one funeral nearly every week when she was between the ages of 70 and 90. In Ireland reading the obituaries every morning is a ritual for many older people, and they plan their week's social events around funerals. Older people in Ireland have free travel on the buses and trains, so my granny would travel far and wide for a funeral. We seemed to have cousins all over County Cork. "Ah, now, he would be a 31st cousin of yours," she would say, as she headed off to another funeral.
A big funeral is very important to many Irish people, so unlike your Dad, Irish people would be urging their friends and neighbors to attend their funeral. I love your Dad's line - “I wouldn’t go myself, if I didn’t have to.” So true for many.
Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by and wishing you and yours a very happy Christmas season.
Best wishes,
Mairéad
brian@irelandfavorites
Lovely images Mairead, It's funny how perspective can dictate one's mood. Thanks for the connection to this Irish tradition it was new to me and I enjoyed the stories and reflections. If one believes, then the passing of a loved one ( or a not so loved one, ha.) is a source for joyful remembrance and a reason to think of good times. I really like the bringing of Christmas joy to those passed on, I find myself singing a tune or two as people have told me my voice could raise the dead. Hope you are enjoying this season of joy, and go ahead and have another brownie.
Cheers,
Brian.
Irish American Mom
Hi Brian - I"m glad to introduce a little Irish Christmas tradition to you. Visiting graveyards at Christmas may be a custom observed in some counties more than others, but I now in Cork and Dublin this tradition remains strong. Hope you are singing plenty in these days before Christmas, and waking the dead with your wonderful singing voice.
Best wishes,
Mairéad
Angela O'Donovan
Yes, I knowmthattradition /ritual too. Tomorrow we'll go to our son's grave with fresh flowers. There's already a special anniv Christmas style wreath there. In Dublin my sister and niece will visit our parents's grave. our other son and I have often wandered through a local graveyard. Quietly and respectfully. Observing and learning a little about hose resting there. Dying an unavoidable part of life.
Irish American Mom
Angela - I hope your visit to your son's grave yesterday brought you peace and comfort. I'm so sorry to hear you lost your child all too soon. I think we Irish understand that "dying is an unavoidable part of life", in a unique way. After living in America and Ireland, I have really come to appreciate how much death is a part of our Irish way of life. I'm glad to hear that you too continue this age old Irish tradition of visiting our loved ones who have passed on at Christmas time.
Blessings of the season to you and yours.
Mairéad